(Authors note: i just did this for fun. Sue me.)
Markus leaned back in the chair starting out through the thick glass of the spaceship as stars slowly passed by. In his lap sat Jeanne who looked absolutely shell shocked and leaned heavily into him. Behind them, the hum of the space ships engine buzzed quietly pushing the craft ahead with an unimaginable speed.
“I had a space trip on my bucket list, but I’d never gotten around to it.” He said to himself idly while one hand comforted his wife who seemed beyond herself.
The woman driving the ship gave him a quick aside glance in a judgemental fashion before turning her eyes back into a straight look ahead. Sitting there in the driver’s seat was the galactic bounty hunter, Samus Aran. Not Andrea or Jeanne in a skinsuit. The real Samus Aran.
For whatever reason, Markus awoke not much more then an hour ago in the Metroid universe. He didn’t have long to grapple with the realities of what had happened before a group of strange reptilian like group of aliens captured him and dragged him off for interrogation. And then the armoured form of Samus arrived to save him in the nick of time by blasting the hell out all of these creatures.
Of course, this all had to be a joke. A prank. Andrea set it up. And of course in five seconds she was going to pull off her Samus mask and they would have sex right there in the cockpit.
How did they do the effects though? Quite frankly…as much as Markus didn’t want to admit it, for whatever reason…this was real. He just ignored the concerns he had in the moment about whatever got him into this mess, he was just resolute in getting out of it without scratches.
With concern, he looked at his pinkie finger on the right side…the one that one of these creatures had cut off with its claws. The wound itself was cleaned, and healed perfectly. Samus had used some strange blue light device to fix the wound. Yet…his pinkie was gone. In surprise he waved his other hand through the place where his pinkie would have been only to meet air.
“Any good regen clinic will sort that out in five minutes.” Samus spoke, eyes never straying.
“Yeah…yeah..” Markus sighed. Just go with it, just, just go with it. He shook his head.
“I’m not usually one for alcohol, but do you happen to have any on board in the moment?”
She pointed her thumb behind her to the back end of the spacecraft.
“Thank you.” Markus muttered as he got up. In the back he could see a small fridge with neon colours lighting up. This spacecraft, Markus reasoned, was more of a campervan then a regular car. A little kitchen so to speak and a bunkbed on the other end. Inside the fridge there were mainly ingredients to make salads, but the door section had a light blue liquid in.
“Kallaxian Blue Wonder.” The label said in a white background on gold lettering. Markus picked it up, and rummaged through the cupboard above, picking out two little shot glasses and filling them up. He returned and handed one of them to Samus who kicked it back in one go.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. And thank you for bailing me out, didn’t have time to use my skinsuit gun before getting captured by those fucks.”
“Skinsuit gun?”
“It’s…a device so that anyone you hit becomes a skinsuit you can wear to become them. Thats why…when I shot them, they deflated like that.”
“I see.”
Markus took a sip of the blue liquid. It was rather sweet, pungent, but damn, it packed a kick.
He leaned back and smiled, relaxing in the rather comfy chair he was in as he took another sip. Then he looked at his missing finger and the reality of things kicked in.
What the hell was going on? How was any of this real?
He sighed.
“I’m dumping you off at the next human colony I find. How did you even end up on an overrun space pirate haven?’
“Errr.” Markus shrugged. “I haven’t a clue. I barely understand what’s going on in the moment. I just..woke up there I guess.”
“Hmmhph.”
“You’re not one for talking are you, just like in the games?”
“Games?”
“Well..” Markus backtracked slightly. “What I mean to say is, I’ve heard of you, you’re that famous bounty hunter Samus Aran. They made like a fangame of you, and its famous. But I don’t take your one for games.”
“No.”
“Look, while I appreciate the ride, quite frankly, I need to go back to my home world.”
“I am not a taxi service. Closest human planet will have to do.”
“No, I’m not from your universe. Okay, so, I am from Earth.”
“Earth is half a universe away.”
“No, my Earth, in my dimension.” Markus leaned back and sighed. “And of course you think I’m insane. Great.”
“Are you sure you’re not just Andrea taking a prank way to far?”
“For the last time.” She spoke up with the beginnings of annoyance in her voice. “I am not this Andrea you keep yapping about, get it in your skull.”
“Well you refuse to let me try and stretch your face to prove that its not a mask.”
She glared at him. “Touch me and I will fling you out of my airlock.”
“Look, all I’m saying is..” He approached Samus, who used one hand to push Markus back so hard it knocked him over. As he stumbled to the ground the skinsuit gun holstered in his pocket stumbled out and fired a loose ray across the room. It bounced off the front window and hit Samus square in the face, deflating her into an empty skin that collapsed onto the steering wheel and threw off the vehicle into an insanely unstable tumble, spinning Markus around all across the aircraft, bruising and scraping him all over by smashing into different walls until by sheer luck he managed to crash into the steering wheel and in a frenzied panic pulled it tightly into place.
The shaking stopped, and the inside of the spacecraft was absolutely tossed around into a giant mess on the floor.
“Jesus.” Markus looked at his battered form in the reflection of the glass in front of him. He had a black eye now and had scrapes all over. He looked down at the skinsuit in front of him which was in pristine condition. Markus hit the autopilot button, hoping that that would do the trick.
Samus was…well, not that cooperative. She wasn’t really interested in helping him beyond saving him and that would’ve been it. And then..there was that armoured power suit she had. And all the knowledge of the world she was in…and that superhuman strength. Certainly, there would be no place safer for him right now then inside her.
Markus lifted up the skinsuit, his hand aching severely and bleeding from a gash. Quickly, he stipped it of its clothes, sitting down in the driver’s seat and quickly getting to work on becoming Samus. Not even bothering to undress himself, he pulled the Samus skinsuit by the lips, opening it up wide as he started hoisting her up his hips. WIthout effort the skinsuit stretched as Markus slipped his legs down her distended throat. With a bit of lifting he pushed Samus pas his waist. Eager to get rid of his aching, battered body he lifted up the lips surrounding his stomach, distending them to at least a meter wide. Then he pushed the rest of his bodyinto the gaping maw in front of him, making himself into a little ball as he pulled the lips shut behind him.
In something out of a horror movie, the strangely misformed body of Samus Aran with a malformed bulge in her throat and her giant head stretched out at least ten times its normal size. With a lot of twitching, the extra mass inside her face and neck started melting downwards into her body as the original form of Samus was finally restored. The pain and bruises Markus could feel over his body faded into the background. The memories of Samus rolled into his mind, and Markus relived several key events in her life from his perspective.
Yet…this confirmed one thing to him. The one thing he didn’t want confirmed…
It was real. Somehow, this all, these vivid, real, extensive memories of Samus Aran…were real. Samus was not Andrea in a skinsuit.
“Fuck.” The naked Samus muttered. “Fuck, man…” She groped herself as she sat down in the driver’s chair once again. In front of her lay that strange bright blue body suit, the so called Zero suit. Without much effort, Samus lifted up the suit up her body like Markus had down to Samus not mere moments ago. It was a perfect custom fit, same for the high heels. As far as anyone could see, Samus Aran was just driving her spaceship home after a successful bounty hunting mission. Except for of course, the massive mess behind him.
Pulling from Samus’ memories he shut down the engines and activated the high frequency cloaking shield. The spaceship drifted on because of basic inertia, slowly sliding through the stars. Samus got up, and retrieved the bottle of Kallaxian Blue Wonder. She flicked the driver’s chair into relaxation mode, leaning back far. She took a swig and glanced up at the thousand of bright stars floating in space in front of her.
“Man…what am I supposed to do now?”
